Will EMDR make me forget my loved one?

No. EMDR doesn’t erase memories or diminish love. It specifically targets the traumatic “hot spots” within a loss experience — the moments of shock, helplessness, or guilt. After processing, most clients report being able to remember their loved one with warmth rather than overwhelming pain.

How long after a loss should I wait before trying EMDR?

There’s no required waiting period. EMDR can be helpful in the acute phase (weeks after loss) to process traumatic aspects, or years later for grief that hasn’t resolved. Your therapist will assess your readiness and tailor the approach.

Can EMDR help with grief that isn’t about death?

Yes. EMDR is effective for all types of loss: divorce, job loss, loss of health, estrangement from family, miscarriage, and other significant life changes that involve grief. The protocol adapts to any experience of loss.

EMDR therapy for grief and loss

EMDR helps people process complicated grief by targeting the traumatic aspects of loss — the moment of learning about a death, witnessing suffering, or unresolved guilt. Research in the Journal of EMDR Practice and Research shows EMDR can significantly reduce prolonged grief symptoms, helping clients move from being stuck in acute pain to integrating their loss. Loma connects you with EMDR-trained therapists covered by insurance.

Understanding grief & loss

Grief is the natural response to loss — the death of a loved one, end of a relationship, loss of health, or other significant life change. While grief is universal, it becomes “complicated” or “prolonged” when the acute pain doesn’t ease over time and begins interfering with daily functioning. Prolonged Grief Disorder, recognized in the DSM-5-TR, affects approximately 7–10% of bereaved adults and is characterized by persistent yearning, difficulty accepting the loss, emotional numbness, and a sense that life has lost meaning.

How EMDR helps

EMDR for grief focuses on the traumatic elements within the loss experience: the phone call delivering bad news, the hospital scene, the funeral, or moments of helplessness. These “hot spots” keep the grief stuck in its most acute phase. By reprocessing these specific moments through bilateral stimulation, the brain can integrate the loss without the overwhelming emotional charge. EMDR doesn’t erase the memory or the love — it allows the person to remember without being overwhelmed, making space for adaptive grieving.

What the research shows

EMDR significantly reduced prolonged grief symptoms in bereaved individuals, with improvements maintained at 3-month follow-up. (Solomon & Rando, Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 2012)
EMDR was effective for complicated grief even when the loss occurred years earlier, suggesting it’s never “too late” for processing. (Sprang, Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 2001)
EMDR reduced grief-related depression and intrusive thoughts more rapidly than traditional grief counseling. (Meysner et al., Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 2016)

What to expect

EMDR for grief typically involves 6–12 sessions. Your therapist will help you identify the specific moments within your loss experience that carry the most emotional charge, then guide reprocessing. Many clients find that after EMDR, they can think about their loved one with warmth and sadness rather than overwhelming pain. The goal isn’t to stop grieving but to allow the natural grief process to move forward.

Typical course: 6–12 sessions.

Frequently asked questions

Will EMDR make me forget my loved one?: No. EMDR doesn’t erase memories or diminish love. It specifically targets the traumatic “hot spots” within a loss experience — the moments of shock, helplessness, or guilt. After processing, most clients report being able to remember their loved one with warmth rather than overwhelming pain.
How long after a loss should I wait before trying EMDR?: There’s no required waiting period. EMDR can be helpful in the acute phase (weeks after loss) to process traumatic aspects, or years later for grief that hasn’t resolved. Your therapist will assess your readiness and tailor the approach.
Can EMDR help with grief that isn’t about death?: Yes. EMDR is effective for all types of loss: divorce, job loss, loss of health, estrangement from family, miscarriage, and other significant life changes that involve grief. The protocol adapts to any experience of loss.

Get matched with a verified, EMDR-trained therapist covered by your insurance — usually within 48 hours. In Texas? See EMDR therapy in Texas.